The Birthday Trifecta

On Saturday, I took my three-year-old niece to not one, not two, but THREE birthday parties, as my sister had a previous commitment. I consider myself a knowledgeable aunt  (a knowledgeable Tee Tee, to be precise) and a special educator but I am not a parent. The world of birthday parties that do not involve a great meal and fine wine is foreign to me so this was quite an experience. I decided at the end of the night I should reward myself for surviving the day with a nice glass of aforementioned vino but found I was too tired to get the corkscrew out. (8:00 bedtime for me. Parents, how you do this ALL day then stay up AFTER the sun has gone down is beyond me.) 

I took the opportunity to jot down some notes on the Blackberry while my niece participated in the third and final party, a gymnastics class in which parents and aunties were kindly reminded to wait outside and watch through the glass. That rule is clearly made for helicopter parents and neurotic aunties. Also, the Blackberry was obviously invented by a Mom, on a Saturday, at a gymnastics party.

1) My niece is a rock star- an all-around great kid. She is very confident and enjoys talking to people, often chatting with customers at my sister's store. I was reminded of how unsure of themselves young children can be when she announced she wanted a turn on one of the bikes and I told her she could ask the little girl for a turn. Her response? A puzzled look and "But I don't know her." She couldn't wrap her head around the fact that she could know her, just by exchanging a hello. I told her all she had to do was introduce herself. She hesitated but finally went over to the girl and said her name and asked for the girl's in return. How intimidating it must be for a tiny person to approach another tiny person and ask, GASP, for a turn on the bike! That said, how many opportunities do we as adults miss because we simply don't say "Hi, I'm Jennifer."

2) Kids never sleep when you want them to and always do when you don't. For example, the hour and a half time slot in between Party #1 and Party #2 would have been optimal nap time, had I any say in the matter. My niece, however, used that 90 minutes to discuss the contents of the goody bag from Party #1 while continuously asking me if I could read the labels once more just to make sure there are really no peanuts in a Ring Pop. (Kudos to her for being her own advocate, as my sister rightfully taught her.) Then, while leaning against the wall waiting for her turn on the trampoline in the middle of Party #3, she started to doze. Luckily, her turn was next.

3) An hour and a half is exactly the perfect amount of time for a birthday party. Is that written in the parenting handbook or do you parents just pass the secret around? (Wait…No parenting handbook?)

Thanks to all the nice parents who didn't bat an eye when I had to use a napkin to wipe the cheese and sauce off my niece's slice of pizza (the only way she'll eat it), helped me put on the swimmies ("Ummm, is there some trick to this?" Turns out there is- you have to wet them), and chatted with me while I nervously watched my niece / felt slightly out of place. It turned out to be a great day for everyone.

Tutor's Tip: When sending your child to 3 birthday parties in one day with someone other than yourself, pack extra clothes, clearly label the gifts, and make sure that person has the invitations so she doesn't get lost. Thanks to my sister for making my job easy!

In Honor of Leiby

From the minute I saw the news report, I couldn't shake the story of Leiby Kletzky. There was something about his face, his walk, that emanated innocence. As details emerged and we learned he was walking to meet his mother, that he had begged for the chance to test his independence, my heart broke more. His parents had even walked the seven block route he was to take that day the Friday before, to ensure he was familiar with his surroundings.

As video emerged of Leiby talking to a man, we anxiously awaited news of the boy's whereabouts. A local news station interviewed a mother from his neighborhood and she made a comment that has haunted me. As she glanced down at her own young children, she said "Our kids don't watch TV, they are sheltered in our community. They don't know they should be afraid." 

No one knows for sure what Levi Aron said to Leiby or why Leiby got in his car, but the thought that Leiby felt safe in his community, which is traditionally void of crime, but wasn't makes me both incredibly angry and desperately sad. I can't wrap my head around the fact that we live in a world where a nine-year-old boy can't stop and ask for directions. 

Now all the "experts" are weighing in on how old a child should be before setting out in the neighborhood by himself. The truth is these parents did everything right. They waited until they thought he was old enough. They chose a short walk for his first trip alone and planned a route, which they practiced together, for him to take. They live in a community they trusted and in which they were active members. People knew this boy but sadly, there wasn't a familiar face he could ask for help. Leiby went with the stranger who would ultimately bring his short-lived freedom to an end.

Tutor's Tip: Pray for the Kletzky family and all the families of young children who don't make it home each day.