In speaking with a frustrated mother recently, I tapped into her desire to succeed, in all aspects of her life. (Women with this penchant for perfection can spot each other from a mile away.) This mom, like many others, is highly-motivated to organize and execute plans both at work and at home. She expects those around her, both co-workers and family members, to stay in line and follow her plan.
Doesn't that sound silly when you say it out loud but how many of us are guilty of allowing the need to control control our lives? (Count me, for sure.)
As we were talking about how stressful it is for her that her son continues to "fall of the wagon" and hit his peers instead of express himself appropriately, our conversation stumbled on something so important, every parent and educator should consider this.
She told me she feels guilty when she forgets to give a star on the star chart for good behavior or when she yells instead of taking a deep breath and approaching a volatile situation with a calm and supportive stance. I explained to her that she was doing everything in her power to support her son, raise a healthy family, maintain a loving relationship with her husband, and manage a successful career. She is doing a hell of a job. She is giving 100% every day of the week.
The key is this: 100% on Monday does not always look like 100% on Tuesday.
Simply, if you can put your head on your pillow at night and know you have given everything you have to give that very day, you have done a good job. You won't always follow through on the behavior rules, you will occasionally nag your husband, and you will make a mistake at work. If you can, however, do the best you can as a mother, wife, friend, daughter, and colleague each day, you can feel good about yourself and that is the key to staying positive, which in turn helps the children in your care.
Simply, if you can put your head on your pillow at night and know you have given everything you have to give that very day, you have done a good job. You won't always follow through on the behavior rules, you will occasionally nag your husband, and you will make a mistake at work. If you can, however, do the best you can as a mother, wife, friend, daughter, and colleague each day, you can feel good about yourself and that is the key to staying positive, which in turn helps the children in your care.
