Your Child is Not Your "Mini-Me"

A colleague recently told me about her daughter's sixth birthday party. Her daughter invited five friends from her first grade class to get manicures and pedicures and enjoy some cake and goody bags. What seemed like a harmless afternoon of fun got me thinking about the message we send young children regarding their sexuality. 

I have an obvious issue with things like thongs for teens, baby bikinis, and makeup marketed towards nine year olds. But what about spa parties? Are we sending the wrong message to children by encouraging them to have their nails painted? By taking my three year old niece for a manicure have I contributed to the sexualization I clearly stand against? Most women look at the spa experience as female bonding time but we need to look at the underlying message we are sending. It seems we are focusing too much on what's "feminine" and "pretty" versus what gives you substance.

One thing I know for sure: footwear styles for young children have gotten out of control. I can't- for the life of me- understand why anyone under the age of eighteen is wearing high heels. Jessica Simpson has a line of kids' shoes and- surprise- there are boots with a heel and a wedge with a peep toe. On her website, it actually says "A low wedge creates a 'big' girl look." Why are we trying to create a "big" girl look? Our daughters can wear wedges when they are actually big girls. And by big I mean 18. 

This isn't to say this sexualization of young girls has occurred overnight. Barbie has been sending the message of unrealistic and unhealthy thinness and "perfection" since 1959. Certainly, Barbie's shirts have gotten tighter and her shorts have gotten shorter but the issue is compounded by the fact that the more technology we have, the faster the message gets sent. 

Ultimately I've come to these conclusions about young girls, fashion, and sexuality:

1) Whatever it is, it's probably not OK if it's a miniature version of adult sexuality.

2) Young girls don't need heels. Period. 

3) It's important to teach our daughters respect for their bodies- that means certain body parts should only see the light of day if you're in the bathtub.

I implore parents and educators to think carefully about the messages- both verbal and non-verbal- we send our young children. We have the power to stop this sexualization and rapid maturation of young girls. 

Tutor's Tip: Let kids be kids, not miniature versions of you.