World Wish Day 2012

Today is Make-A-Wish Foundation's World Wish Day, which celebrates the first wish ever honored on April 29, 1980. A seven-year-old boy living with leukemia told his family he wished to be a policeman. His mother, along with community members, made that wish come true, complete with a custom-made uniform. Thus, Make-A-Wish was born.

Make-A-Wish has become a positive force in bringing joy and hope to families whose joy and hope are being tested. This organization continues to make the impossible a reality for families throughout the world. I urge you to support this inspiring organization.

Click here to donate:
http://worldwishday.org/en/donate.php

Thinking Outside the Box: Gifts for Children

I just got off the phone with a friend who's been struck with the Cleaning Bug. You know that burst of energy you get when you can't stand to look at all that stuff collecting dust in your basement? She's got it bad.

As she began to purge the depths of the closet, she found countless toys, puzzles, and games that her now-nineteen-year-old boys haven't touched in years. Then she did the math and actually counted.

       3 boys
       1 birthday party per year for 10 years
       30 friends at each party
 X   1 gift per boy
___________________
       900 gifts!!!

That's an estimate that doesn't include Hanukkah and birthday gifts from family members!

The custom of giving a birthday gift to a child is so ingrained in our culture and our children come to expect that they will receive gifts each year. That's not to say they don't appreciate the gesture or use good manners and write thank you notes for the spoils they've received, but they know, once a year, they will be showered with toys, just for being born.

I believe in the importance of honoring significant events and celebrating the joy and love you share as a family. Birthdays are incredibly joyous occasions- especially for those children who had a tough road getting here- but can we reconsider the amount of waste we produce in celebrating these moments?

One year for Christmas I decided to think outside the box and gave my young cousin a gift card to a website that allowed her to select the charity to which she'd like to donate. (The site, unfortunately, is no longer in operation.) She ran to the computer and began to select her favorite charities. She was eight at the time and understood- and fully embraced- the importance of giving back.

Can we break the mold? Can we think outside the box and create a generation of children who really believe 'tis better to give than to receive?

Fresh Entertainment for Kids

On March 25, my sister and I took my 4-year-old niece to see the Fresh Beat Band in concert in New York City. Friends and family joked with us and warned that we were about to endure a boring afternoon of child-centered entertainment. I even got credit for being a good aunt and giving up a lazy Sunday to trek into the city and sit through the show. Oh, how they were wrong.

From start to finish, the Fresh Beat Band experience was amazing. It helped that we splurged and got front-row seats and the VIP passes for a post-show meet-and-greet. The show was a little more than an hour with a fifteen minute intermission. The band- Kiki, Marina, Twist, and Shout- were played by the actors who portray them on TV. (I was briefly worried there would be look-alike stand-ins.) The back-up dancers were just as phenomenal as the band themselves. Each song was fast-paced and well-choreographed. Dancing in the aisles was encouraged and the kids obliged. Parents couldn't resist tapping their toes and singing along, too.

These performers are on a grueling tour, sometimes performing the same high-evergy show twice a day. They did not break character, they did not miss a beat, and they did not stop smiling. This was well-worth the money and time to share this experience with my niece.

These guys are the real deal. Follow them on Twitter and support them. I wish these talented performers all the best.

Fresh Beat Band
Yvette Gonzalez-Nacer (Kiki)... www.twitter.com/Yvette_G_Nacer
Tara Perry (Marina)... www.twitter.com/taraperry
Thomas Hobson (Shout)... www.twitter.com/TommyHobson
Jon Beavers (Twist)...No Twitter account (What's up with that, Jon?)

Dancers
Adrian Harvey... www.twitter.com/AdrianLHarvey
Frances Manzo... www.twitter.com/Frances315
Meisha Lee... www.twitter.com/mzmeishalee
Tyler... Cannot locate Tyler's last name! (Tried Tweeting some of the Band but didn't hear back. Happy to edit this post if anyone has info on Tyler!)

For information on the tour: http://www.freshbeatbandlive.com/

Mega Good Mood

Every single person I know has bought a lottery ticket for tonight's record-setting Mega Millions drawing. Every. Single. Person. I. Know.

I've seen hundreds of strangers on the street carrying their tickets.

The jackpot is set for $640 million, an all-time high.

Everyone is talking about the lottery.

What has amazed me most is the positive spirit this historic event has spurred among my neighbors. Every person buying a ticket at my local convenience store smiled and wished each other good luck. My colleagues all grinned as they tossed in $10 and told each other, "See you Monday, even if we win!" Everyone is plotting how to spend their riches, and most conversations I've heard include huge donations to charity and shared wealth among family and friends.

Most often a nationwide event is laden with sorrow, tragedy, and shared disappointment. How often do we encounter a nationwide event that makes us all feel good? How often do we share in our neighbors' joy and good will, outside of the holiday season?

This lottery is set to make history but I'll always remember it as a time when my community shared hope. Unless I win. Then it will forever be remembered as the day I payed off my student loans.

Good luck to you all!

Healthy Alternatives for Your Child's Breakfast

My good friend, Bethany, and I enjoyed a delicious vegan lunch yesterday. (Thanks to Beth and her mother, Barbara, for cooking a meal I never could have managed!) Bethany is also a teacher and we constantly talk about ways we can help families live healthy lives. Bethany is a wealth of knowledge and I often call her from the grocery store with a question about my purchases. (This week I asked, What am I supposed to be sweetening my coffee with? Answer: honey or agave)

Here is her blog about children's breakfast, as originally posted on her website www.veganonthefence.com :

For more information, you can email her at veganonthefence@gmail.com

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What kid doesn’t love when their milk magically turns into delicious chocolatey soup? Thanks to the ingredients in cereals like Cocoa Puffs and Cookie Crisps, children all over the world enjoy this delicacy on a regular basis.  Let’s not forget the rest of the “breakfast food” kitchen dwellers like Pop Tarts, Mini Muffins, Bagel-fuls, and Toaster Scrambles. With claims like, “baked with real fruit,” “a great source of vitamins and minerals and best of all “more then a snack, it’s art you can eat,” what parent would say no to such a thing?

What they (Kellogg’s, Kraft, General Mills) don’t mention in their marketing ploys is the amount of vitamins and minerals is a pathetic percentage in comparison to what your child should be consuming, the “art you can eat” is no masterpiece as it is ladened with sugar and modified ingredients, and the “real” fruit is dried and covered with artificial (fruit) flavoring and food coloring.

At this point you may be thinking, “Ok, so what is your point?” Sure this isn’t really big news to everyone and you could be well aware of the ingredients in the foods your children consume. My reasoning then for this you ask?  To share some quick and healthy (vegan too!) alternatives for the most important meal of the day for your little ones.

If your child wants a Pop Tart:

*Pop a slice of whole wheat or whole grain bread, make sure it is dairy/egg free (I likeEzekiel-they even carry a Cinnamon Raisin loaf) in the toaster oven and top with jelly (no sugar added is best), peanut butter and banana slices or “butter” (Earth Balance a soy or olive oil butter alternative) and cinnamon mixed with some Xylitol (a natural sugar) or honey.

*Mix up a batch of whole wheat pancakes or waffles.  You can find tons of (dairy and egg free) recipes online and the best part is you can add or take out ingredients to personalize them to your child’s taste buds and/or food sensitivities/allergies (veganize it with an egg/milk alternatives… like Pacific Natural Foods-Unsweetened Original or Vanilla almond milk and Ener-G egg replacer)  I love to heat up some steel-cut oats orKashi Whole Grain Pilaf and mix it into the batter for extra fiber and texture.  If time is not on your side, frozen ones can be kept on hand too.  Van’s has a variety of (vegan) wheat-free, gluten-free choices, including minis (which kids LOVE), flax, blueberry, apple cinnamon and buckwheat!

If your child craves Cereal:

* Good news there are some healthier choices out there!  My go to box is Kashi GoLean with 13 grams of protein and 10 grams of fiber.

*Most of Barbara’s cereals are kid friendly, healthy, vegan and delicious.  You will find corn flakes, brown rice crisps and my favorite shredded wheat. All of the their cereals are sweetened with natural fruit juices or molasses, both better alternatives to high fructose corn syrup and good old fashion sugar. Check out their Special Dietary Needspage to find out more! They also have cereal bars that are vegan friendly!

If your child wants a Go-Gurt:

*Get some plain soy yogurt, mix it with applesauce and any fruit your child loves.  For some crunchiness throw in some “grape nuts” (Ezekiel Sprouted Grain Cereal-what Babs used for bread crumbs in the Eggplant Rawmesan) or granola (low in sugar), stir up and serve!

Side Rant (Warning):

*(Written pre-veganish adventure… hence why milk is even involved in this blab of mine)

Oh Go-Gurt, how I loathe you. You’re messy and creepily colored.

Yogurt should have very few ingredients… like milk and live bacteria cultures.
I have a serious problem with the crazy things (yes I say “things” because they are not normal) Yoplait has added into this tube of convenience.  With flavors like cotton candy and berry blue blast, you can imagine what “food like” substances are hidden inside.  (Oh, and don’t expect to find the ingredients on the Yoplait website because they aren’t listed, which is quite strange don’t you think?) Even more exciting, they have even also created Go-Gurt Fizzix, a carbonated yogurt… I need to move on before my head explodes…

DON’T GET DISCOURAGED!

It may take some time to transition your child from the old choices to the new ones. Be patient and remind yourself (even during a tantrum) that your decision to make these changes will pay off in the long run.

Domestic Abuse in Young Relationships

I started writing this blog last week after reading an article about the trial of George Huguely, the former college lacrosse player accused of killing his girlfriend, Yeardley Love, who died of blunt force trauma to her head.

Then, Rihanna and Chris Brown released new songs, guest starring on each other's records.

And yesterday, 26-year-old Charles Ann of Fort Lee, New Jersey, was arrested for deliberately and repeatedly running over his girlfriend with his car after she tried to break up with him. Aena Hong died shortly after this gruesome attack.

I am deeply troubled by these stories of violence involving young women and, regarding Rihanna, such disregard for the seriousness of domestic abuse. Each story is so different, yet there are lessons to be learned from each.

It seems to be well documented that Yeardley Love and George Huguely engaged in an emotionally and physically abusive relationship over the course of two years. As standout athletes and students, they outwardly appeared to have it all but behind closed doors, things were falling apart. Huguely admits to shaking Love and "perhaps" grabbing her neck on the night she died. Many eyewitnesses, classmates, and friends report a series of violent and abusive exchanges between the couple.

In the Fort Lee case, numerous eye witnesses report watching Charles Ann hit Aena Hong with his car then back up and run over her at least three times. On-lookers were distraught as the attack happened so quickly there was nothing they could do to help. One man even tried to open the car door to get Ann to stop. A woman said she held Hong's hand and told her "I'm here with you. You're not alone." because that's all she could do for her. Authorities described their dating as "tumultuous" and community members recall seeing a physical altercation as well as "outbursts" from Ann in the past.

Then there's Rihanna, who was beaten so violently by her then-boyfriend Chris Brown her face was bloodied and bruised. A restraining order was appropriately put into place to bar Brown from making contact with her. That restraining order has long since expired and it seems she's decided to get close to him again.

I'm incredibly sad for the girls who were murdered and disheartened by Rihanna's decision to collaborate with her abuser. The other girls did not make it out alive. They did not live to sing songs or dance with their friends or go shopping in Paris. They are dead because the violence got so out of control they lost their lives. I don't expect Rihanna to run around spewing words of hate towards Chris Brown forever, and I accept that she was unwillingly given this role as "role model for women involved in domestic abuse" but she should have just stayed away from him. All she had to do was avoid contact with him to show she does not condone his behavior or treatment of her. Instead, she and Brown were seen leaving the same recording studio within 15 minutes of each other. The message this has sent to young girls is that if some time passes and the situation cools down, you can go back.

All of these cases highlight the importance of teaching emotional health to young children and teens, particulary as they begin to date. As parents and educators, we must make sure children and teens understand the markings of an unhealthy relationship and ways to get out. 

It is crucial that parents and educators craft an open relationship with the children in their care by initiating conversation; many children aren't apt to share in that way. Start by using these talking points to begin your conversation with your pre-teen and teenage children, especially as they begin to show interest in dating.

No one has the right to speak to you in a hurtful way

Many abusers will "break down" their victims by belittling them so they feel weak. Words are powerful and no one has the right to use them as a weapon against you.

State your needs and leave if they are not being met

Why stay with someone if they don't give you what you need? If they don't measure up to your expectations, leave. Someone else will.

You are strong
You may envision a life of sadness without this person in your life but you are strong. You will heal and find love again.

If you feel unsafe, ask for help

Talk to a teacher, coach, or parent. Listen to the little voice in your head and say the words "I don't feel safe" to a trusted adult. If you're not sure how to end the relationship, someone will be there for you.

Opening dialogue with your child lets her know you care and will support her through difficult times. It very well may save her life.

For more information, please visit:
http://www.thehotline.org/

New Jersey Comeback to Include People With Developmental Disabilities

Governor Christie presented his budget address today under the tagline "The New Jersey Comeback." I was pleased to hear him speak as he highlighted the creation of a new department within the Department of Children and Families that will serve as a "single point of entry" for families of children with developmental disabilities. As many of you know, navigating any service within this department is a nightmare- a seemingly endless amount of paperwork, numerous and ever-changing contacts, and hours and hours of your time wasted- hours and hours of your child's time wasted.

I hope that this new department is well-staffed with knowledgeable employees- you know, people who have actually met a child with a disability. I hope that a family can apply for services and work with one case manager for an extended period of time, so that case manager can get to know the child's needs and the family's needs. I hope that the services to be provided and managed include financial relief for families, counseling services for parents, siblings, and children, and education and training opportunities for family members.

Governor Christie also spoke about the importance of transitioning teenagers with developmental disabilities to adult services, an area that is greatly lacking in efficient and effective resources.

Governor Christie repeatedly cites the need to make government smarter; today he took a step towards applying that philosophy to a community of New Jersey citizens that has long suffered. I hope that he has done his homework and that "The New Jersey Comeback" produces a system that works for and with the people of the great state of New Jersey. There's a lot riding on it.