I'm a big fan of the traffic light behavior management system. Teachers and parents have used many forms of this system but the concept is basic- green means your doing what you're supposed to be doing, yellow means you need to slow down and think about your behavior, and red means you need to stop and get back in control. I like this system because the rules are clear, the colors are easily identified, and it gives children a chance to get themselves together.
A child I once worked with told me when she was on green she had a happy heart. She even drew a picture of a heart with a smile and put it on her desk to remind herself to follow directions. I find this to be an incredibly telling action, one that highlights the importance of our work in engaging with children. Children want to be happy, they want to do the right thing, and they want you to be proud. They want to stay on green and feel good about it.
This isn't to say we should give children what they want in order to keep them happy. In fact, there will be times her heart is sad because she didn't get her way. If she learns the lesson you intended to teach, your job is done. Ultimately, she'll understand why she can't have or do something and will follow the rules, stay on green, and yes- have a happy heart.
Our role in enforcing rules is to keep children safe, productive, motivated, and healthy. Creating and implementing a behavior management system that does just that is the key to a happy heart. Don't get me wrong- there will be times you have a sad heart or two in your house, but using a behavior management system as clear as the traffic light system keeps everyone moving in the right direction.
Tutor's Tip: If your child's heart is happy, you're on the right track!
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