These Are the Dangers In Your Neighborhood

A 3-year-old Missouri girl disappeared a week ago while riding her bike in front of her home. Her neighbor confessed to finding her in his backyard, bringing her inside his house to suffocate her with a garbage bag, and disposing of her bike and body. He confessed immediately to police and told them everything, except why he did it. Her body was discovered yesterday.

First, I am angered again by a story of a child unable to live safely in her own neighborhood. Like the story of Leiby Kletzky, I am disheartened that children are targeted right in their own comfort zones. 

Click here to read a blog about Leiby Kletzky:

http://tutorstips.blogspot.com/2011/07/in-honor-of-leiby.html

In no way do I mean to place blame on the parents for not supervising their daughter, but I can't help but ask other parents Do you let your children play in front of your house without an adult present? 

I can only assume these parents felt safe in their community and therefore allowed her to ride her small pink bike, complete with training wheels, on their block. The thought that they sent their young daughter out for an afternoon of fun and she never came home is devastating. 

Please feel free to share any tips you have for keeping your children safe while playing outside in your community. Let this poor family's pain result in the sharing of information among parents and, hopefully, save another child's life.

Tutor's Tip: Pray for this family and all families of children who do not make it home each day.

A $50,000 Lie

A family attended a charity hockey event last week in Minnesota and signed up for the chance to make a long-distance shot and win $50,000. Both twin brothers signed up but when brother Nick's name was called and he was outside, Nate stepped up to take his place, unbeknownst to the event organizers. 

After Nate made the shot, the father, who had originally suggested Nate step in, had second thoughts about claiming the prize money. He told those in charge about the lie. Odds On Promotions, the insurance carrier for the charity event, has not made a statement saying if the family will get the money or not.

I know that some of you will let greed get the better of you and speak ill of this father, saying How could he blow an opportunity like that? I have to say, I commend him. He made a poor choice by prompting his son to lie and claim to be his brother but he ultimately did the right thing and set the right example for his children. The lesson for children is if it doesn't sit right in your heart, it isn't right. The father knew he couldn't accept the prize money knowing the family had been dishonest. It was a small lie, one that no one would have ever uncovered but he came clean, and for that, I applaud him.

To read the original article go to Fox News:

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/08/16/minnesota-boy-may-lose-50g-for-amazing-hockey-shot-because-dads-honesty/

Tutor's Tip: $50,000 is a lot of money but teaching your children to lie is a costly mistake. Honesty will always be the best policy!

Toddlers & Tiaras: Terrible!

I recently sequestered myself to the couch for a lazy day of TV-watching, attempting to slow down my summer schedule. I flipped through the channels and found "Toddlers and Tiaras" a show I had heard much about since its 2009 premiere but never seen. At first, I thought the parents' antics in preparing their children for "competition" were just for show but as I continued watching, I realized These people have some serious issues.

I'm not a huge fan of pageants and child models to begin with. That said, my friend's children modeled and the minute they said they didn't want to do it anymore, it was over. They have a little chunk of change put away for college and they clearly have not suffered any adverse affects from having their picture taken for a few years.

The pageant world, however, is a dark and twisted place, full of back-stabbing, narcissism, and unhealthy self-image issues. Imagine all that for a developing child, just forming their first opinions of themselves and those around them. Children as young as 18 months compete in some of these pageants! Parents carry young toddlers on stage, dripping in sequins and hairspray!

I cannot seem to shake what I saw in just one episode: a five-year-old girl being spray-tanned, a six-year-old boy getting yelled at by his mother for not accurately completing his choreography, and a two-year-old with a bad cold being forced to compete, when she obviously needed to get some rest.

The absolute worst part of it all was the blatant disappointment in each of the mother's faces when her child had "failed" to accomplish whatever goal she believed should have been accomplished. 

Now, if your child makes a poor choice, such as aggressing towards another person or intentionally being mean to someone, by all means, let him know you expect more from him. But to ridicule him because he forgot dance moves? To roll your eyes because she didn't shake her hips enough? To huff and puff because she didn't make eye contact with the judges? I just can't get on board with that and I am appalled that this show is on the air, that people continue to watch it, and that the authorities haven't stepped in to speak to these parents about emotional abuse.

It is our job as adults to instill confidence in our children. It is our job to show them how to feel good about their efforts. It is our job to teach them how to trust themselves and others. This show does not promote any of these positive interactions. In fact, these parents are teaching their children to be unsure of themselves, to equate physical appearance and performance with love, and to feel "not good enough," which will undoubtedly affect their emotional health as they grow older.

Clearly, I will not be watching this show again and I suggest you change the channel and find something of value to view. Better yet, take your child out back and throw the ball around with him. Engage in an activity that will make him feel loved and supported but don't waste your time with this garbage.

Tutor's Tip:  Build your children up, don't break them down!