Toddlers & Tiaras: Terrible!

I recently sequestered myself to the couch for a lazy day of TV-watching, attempting to slow down my summer schedule. I flipped through the channels and found "Toddlers and Tiaras" a show I had heard much about since its 2009 premiere but never seen. At first, I thought the parents' antics in preparing their children for "competition" were just for show but as I continued watching, I realized These people have some serious issues.

I'm not a huge fan of pageants and child models to begin with. That said, my friend's children modeled and the minute they said they didn't want to do it anymore, it was over. They have a little chunk of change put away for college and they clearly have not suffered any adverse affects from having their picture taken for a few years.

The pageant world, however, is a dark and twisted place, full of back-stabbing, narcissism, and unhealthy self-image issues. Imagine all that for a developing child, just forming their first opinions of themselves and those around them. Children as young as 18 months compete in some of these pageants! Parents carry young toddlers on stage, dripping in sequins and hairspray!

I cannot seem to shake what I saw in just one episode: a five-year-old girl being spray-tanned, a six-year-old boy getting yelled at by his mother for not accurately completing his choreography, and a two-year-old with a bad cold being forced to compete, when she obviously needed to get some rest.

The absolute worst part of it all was the blatant disappointment in each of the mother's faces when her child had "failed" to accomplish whatever goal she believed should have been accomplished. 

Now, if your child makes a poor choice, such as aggressing towards another person or intentionally being mean to someone, by all means, let him know you expect more from him. But to ridicule him because he forgot dance moves? To roll your eyes because she didn't shake her hips enough? To huff and puff because she didn't make eye contact with the judges? I just can't get on board with that and I am appalled that this show is on the air, that people continue to watch it, and that the authorities haven't stepped in to speak to these parents about emotional abuse.

It is our job as adults to instill confidence in our children. It is our job to show them how to feel good about their efforts. It is our job to teach them how to trust themselves and others. This show does not promote any of these positive interactions. In fact, these parents are teaching their children to be unsure of themselves, to equate physical appearance and performance with love, and to feel "not good enough," which will undoubtedly affect their emotional health as they grow older.

Clearly, I will not be watching this show again and I suggest you change the channel and find something of value to view. Better yet, take your child out back and throw the ball around with him. Engage in an activity that will make him feel loved and supported but don't waste your time with this garbage.

Tutor's Tip:  Build your children up, don't break them down!